Showcase Presents: Strange Adventures Vol. 1

Hang on a second, some of this doesn't make sen--THE END.

Strange Adventures Vol. 1 presents the book's run from issues #54-73. There are about four stories per issue, which means that they're all really short, coming in at six pages or less.

This wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing. There are plenty of DC stories from the same time period with good short stories. However, Strange Adventures doesn't even seem to try in terms of narrative. Here's what the process feels like:

WRITER: "Hey, I've got the start of an idea!"

EDITOR: "You have twenty minutes to get the full final copy on my desk."

Almost every single story is a half-thought idea that really doesn't go anywhere. It seems like they threw whatever was left over from other books into this one. The fact that writers come and go every single issue makes the case even stronger.

Somebody was paid to come up with this "idea."

I wanted to like this book so bad. I love the goofy Silver Age stories, but there was absolutely no substance to any of these. The only good thing about any of them are the titles. Just by reading some of those, there is so much wasted potential:

The Gorilla who Challenged the World
The Day the Sun Exploded
I Hunted the Radium Man!
The Invisible Masters of Earth!
The Super-Athletes from Outer Space!
The Man Who Remembered 100,000 Years Ago!
I Was the Man in the Moon!
The Man Who Discovered the West Pole!
The Flying Raincoat!
The Talking Flower!
The Man Who Couldn't Drown!
The Man with Four Minds!
Raiders from the Ultra-Violet!
The Man Who Ate Sunshine!
The Skyscraper that Came to Life!

All of the stories end abruptly and unexpectedly. There are so many questions unanswered, and there's usually one panel that desperately attempts to cram in the "explanation" of the entire plot. But there is no plot. Just a huge waste of time. I walked away from each story feeling one of three things:

1. Very mild amusement
2. Anger
3. Total indifference

Of course! How could I have been so blind?

The only counter-argument I find of why these stories are so lame is because they were written for young children. But even if I were eight years old, I would still be pissed at the total incoherency and lack of effort. The artwork doesn't offer much either. All of the people look the same, in the same static poses, never really doing anything.

Pictured: Logic, apparently.

Let me walk you through a story. I can do it quite fast, since there's nothing there to begin with:

1. The government is seeking defense against foreign guided missile attacks
2. An inventor creates a ray that will create a force field around a city
3. He tests it out. Inexplicably, gems rain from the sky, and people collect them
4. The gems exert telepathic commands, controlling people to take over the city
5. The inventor disables the evil gem by shooting his ray (in reverse) directly at it
6. THE END

I just want to punch someone.

Seriously, that's all there is to it. It's just so stupid. There are blind attempts to clumsily explain why shit is happening, but they never actually clarify anything. In fact, they usually just make it worse. Just thinking about it makes me mad.

There can be no other explanation.

Since this book runs smack-dab in the middle of the Atomic Age, nearly every story includes invasion by aliens, some kind of good/bad radiation, or the intense power of America's A-Bomb/H-Bomb. The very thinly veiled Soviet Union fear runs rampant.

IT'S. SO. SUBTLE.

Bottom line? Skip it. Just skip it. I am incredibly surprised that not one, but two volumes of Strange Adventures are included in DC's Showcase Presents TPBs. Why, when there are so many other worthwhile things?

The Astro Boy Essays

Osamu Tezuka, Mighty Atom, and the Manga/Anime Revolution.

I've heard Osamu Tezuka's name going around for many years, but haven't ever made the effort to find out why. I picked up this book for two reasons. One, to delve deeper into Astro Boy, of which I had watched a little bit as a child on TV via reruns. Two, to find out how influential Tezuka really was concerning manga and anime. Referred to as "The God of Manga" and the Japanese equivalent to Walt Disney, my reoccurring interest finally turned into action.

The author, Frederik L. Schodt, had an excellent rapport with Tezuka, and spent a lot of time with him. This made the narrative much more insightful, not to mention credible. Schodt's personal experiences help expand on who Tezuka was as a person as well as a manga artist/animator/businessman.

The book begins on the impact Tezuka's death had in Japan in the early 1990's. Tezuka did so much for the manga/anime industry, it's pretty hard to believe. Mighty Atom (Astro Boy in the States) is by far his most popular work, but he created about 150,000 pages of manga in his lifetime. Many others besides Atom were hits as well, but Atom sticks the most in people's hearts (an abundance of merchandise never hurts either). I think it's a smart move by Schodt to focus just on Mighty Atom and its impact, because to try and summarize Tezuka's entire career and how it changed the industry would be a near impossible task.

In a way, the creation of Atom mirrors Golden Age comic books in the United States. Continuity is not that important, characters can enter/exit on a whim, pacing can be awkward, and there's a lot of slapstick humor. The early Atom stories (which were not narrative manga by any means) were pretty much Tezuka playing around with a bunch of ideas, trying to cram them all together. Later, the character became more refined. The stories also took on a more serial nature, with recurring characters and references to prior stories. It seems like it was always a work in progress, with Tezuka never really being satisfied with a story just because it had been published. In fact, he would go back and re-create entire past volumes if he felt it would link better to whatever stories he was currently working on.

The book is also a mini-biography of sorts, linking Tezuka's life events to his manga. It also showcases how Atom was related to world events (such as World War II and the aftermath in Japan). It's apparent how Atom's experiences and characters are representative of the then-current real world. And since it ran for many years, the comparisons are even more evident. This made the stories more relatable to readers, regardless of time period. Also, when he started, manga was not as abundant as it is today, so he had the additional advantage of little competition. Not to say that it was pure luck. The man was a machine, cranking out ridiculous amounts high-quality material in impossible amounts of time. Oh, and while he was pumping out tons of material, he was also enrolled in medical school (where he also did very well).

The book also describes the creation of the 1960's animated show, which is where Atom got his biggest audience. It made him a national icon, and helped bring Japanese animation over to the West. It's funny to note that in order to save time and money (due to promises that would come back to plague the staff), many corners were cut in production. Today, people would look back and note how "lazy" the animators were, and how they used all the "cheap tricks." But again, this was due to necessity. Hell, they practically invented the "cheap tricks."

Unfortunately for everybody in the world, since nothing like the show had ever been done before, it set a standard that animation teams could receive almost no money and have extremely limited timeframes to produce a finished product. This, of course, led to the "lazy" animation practices that still torment us to this day. There's a list in the book that the team used as guidelines for the show, and it's definitely cringe-worthy:

1. Shooting three frames of film for every drawing instead of one or two to create the illusion of fluid movement.
2. Using only one drawing in a tome, or still shot, when shooting close-ups of a character's face.
3. Zooming in or out on face shots or physically sliding a single drawing under the camera to create the illusion of movement with a single drawing.
4. Shooting a single short sequence of animated drawings and then repeating it again and again while sliding the background image. Six or twelve drawings could thus be used to show a movement as long as necessary.
5. When a character moved an arm or leg, animating only that portion and shooting the rest from one drawing.
6. Animating the mouth alone and abbreviating the drawings used, showing only a fully open mouth, a shut mouth, and a partially open mouth to represent characters speaking.
7. Creating a "bank system" of images to save on the total number of drawings, allowing reuse of the same drawings in different situations.
8. Using more short takes in place of single long takes that usually required more movement.

I don't know if you've been paying attention, but that's Hanna-Barbera's entire freaking playbook right there, as well as a lot of Japanese animation for years to come. As an avid animation fan, it's infuriating to think that something that sprung from necessity influenced the entire worldwide industry for decades (and was accepted by it!).

Understandably, Tezuka's biggest drawing influence was Walt Disney. This can definitely be seen in both the manga and anime in terms of visual style. Ideally, Tezuka would have loved to have the television series be as fluidly animated as Bambi or Snow White. It's really too bad that it couldn't have been, because with Tezuka's legendary work ethic and output, it would have been something truly remarkable. But even with cutting every corner possible, it's still an impressive show with its own unique spirit. It's also very cool to see how many people that worked on the Atom series went on to become titans themselves, such as Yoshiyuki Tomino, Shotaro Ishinomori, and Fujiko Fujio.

There's also a big section dedicated to how Atom was brought over to the United States, and how tough of a sell it really was. As was standard at the time (and still is today far too often), many things were censored or outright removed from the show. But in contrast to today's practices, a huge effort was taken to preserve the messages and intentions of Tezuka. What a concept, trying to preserve the integrity of the original product despite it being from a different country, am I right? Unfortunately, due to legal confusion, overseas miscommunication, and poor business management in the early 1970's, Tezuka appeared to lose all ownership and rights to Atom until the late 1990's. His own creation. Ridiculous.

Tezuka used current, real-life robot technology in Atom's development. Every so many years, he would redefine the inner workings of the robot based on what was actually happening in the field. The book also discusses where some influence in Atom's creation probably came from, citing specific films and literature. It also notes Tezuka's main competition in terms of robot manga in the form of Iron Man No. 28, created by Mitsuteru Yokoyama.

Tezuka's enthusiasm for messages of peace, anti-discrimination, and other like themes permeate Atom through and through (even to the displeasure of his readers at times). His messages are quite strong at points, incorporating political and humanist views. Since he's using mostly robots to get the points across, he was allowed more freedom to showcase them. Telling some of the same stories, with humans instead of robots, would most likely have never seen the light of day. Tezuka was fascinated by the complexity of human nature, and used manga to explore the subject. There's a quote from a year prior to his death that sums it up pretty nicely:

"My manga have a wide variety of themes--they are a paean to life, they are antiwar and they are antinuclear, and they advocate the preservation of nature--but ultimately they are all one thing. They are the following appeal to young readers, to think objectively about this fragile Earth: When you grow up, don't forget to look at both Earth and mankind objectively. And always think about what it means to be human."

It's amusing to note that Tezuka considers Atom his "worst work." At times, his frustration with the character affected the stories themselves. Atom died at least three times in the manga, and at least once in animation. It's also ironic that the frustration stemmed from the success of the character. Tezuka's notes fatigue, declining income, and too many competitors entering the market. The organization that he had started was also too big for him to manage, with other individuals' ideas being used due to time and budget constraints. He was never a businessman, and it showed more than once. But he loved the art and ideas, the process of creation. It was hard to let other people dictate what direction things would take. That's an acceptable approach if you're dealing with a team of five or ten people, but the group had grown many times that size, and Tezuka simply couldn't be everywhere at once.

Even though he displayed frustration at times, he was still intensely proud of Atom's success. He loved seeing people light up at the mention of Atom's name, and felt joy that he had reached that person. He never refused to sign autographs when recognized, and loved that he was making a positive impact on the world.

The book closes with a look at the somewhat-failed 1980's Atom TV series, and Tezuka's still non-stop work habits, despite aging just as fast as the rest of us. Even though he was collecting rewards right and left for his decades of work, he just kept on working at his standard breakneck pace. He continually immersed himself in the up-and-coming manga and their artists, often keeping pace if not staying ahead of them.

Unfortunately, Tezuka also had stomach cancer, and undertook several operations. But staying true to his work ethic, worked tirelessly, even working on several projects in his hospital bed during recovery (yes, several). He died on February 9, 1989, at the age of sixty. His last words, according to his wife, were, "Please, please let me continue to work..." His pens and paper never left his bedside.

The afterword describes Tezuka and Atom's legacy. It includes discussions of projects that came about (e.g. the 2003 Astro Boy series), as well as projects that were talked about but were never made (such as a 1998 Astro Boy film involving the Jim Henson Company!). The author also talks about how he feels Tezuka would have felt concerning the advances made in animation. Atom was so successful that younger animators felt hesitant with Tezuka's work, simply because he was a national hero, and Atom a national icon. There is also an in-depth look at Naoki Urasawa's Pluto (which this blogger has already purchased in its entirety) and how an interpretation of Tezuka's work is handled extremely carefully from all sides.

The book concludes with two appendices, notes, a bibliography, and an index. Appendix A is a list of all Atom-related manga titles in both Japanese and English, organized by publication and date. It is awesome. Appendix B is the same, but for all things animation. It also includes the Japanese ratings, which is a nice touch. The Notes section is all sources of annotations made throughout the book (of which there are many). The bibliography is a list of pretty much any publication having to do with Tezuka and Atom that you could ever want.

Overall, a fascinating read, and highly recommended. You won't find anybody more qualified than Schodt to get an inside look at the man who was Osamu Tezuka and his most momentous work, Mighty Atom. If you even remotely like manga or anime, I'd suggest picking this up. It gives great insight on not just Atom, but the earlier days of the industry itself, and how Atom and Tezuka affected its continuous evolution.

Konga - 1961

Do not be fooled by that awesome poster.

Konga is a 1961 science fiction film starring Michael Gough. It could have been a classic sci-fi flick, except the last fifteen minutes ruin the entire movie. And the special effects are nauseating. But I'll get to that later.

The film opens with a burning plane going down somewhere and exploding. Cut to a radio reporter informing the public that a plane containing Dr. Charles Decker, famous botanist, has crashed into the jungle depths. Cut to a newspaper article of Dr. Decker returning to civilization one year later. A nice start without any superfluous filler.

With visual aids in case you weren't paying attention.

Dr. Decker is being interviewed by a newspaper about his whereabouts over the past year. He informs them that he was rescued by a local tribe and lived with them until eventually finding his way back. He carries a chimpanzee with him (christened "Konga"), and states that he has found a revolutionary link between plant and animal life.

When he returns home, his housekeeper/assistant/secretary Margaret (played by the excellent Margo Johns) states that she kept all his affairs in order, despite his possible death. She does question, however, his immediate need to return to work and strange demands, and also reveals she felt somewhat neglected that he didn't inquire about how she was doing after so long.

Dr. Decker goes into the greenhouse and starts tearing out the existing floral arrangements (much to Margaret's vexation) in order to make room for plants that he brought back with him. He also instructs her to turn the temperature up to 90° to mimic the tropical climate.

In the laboratory, Dr. Decker is explaining the botany of the jungle and how he discovered plants and seeds with fascinating properties. While talking, the house cat slinks in and starts licking up a puddle of spilt solution on the floor. Decker responds logically.

When Margaret protests, he shouts that they don't need a cat the size of a leopard running through the streets. This is foreshadowing to what Decker's work will produce.

Later, in the greenhouse, we see some of Decker's "plants" that he brought back with him. It is here that we start to see a long line of absolutely egregious special effects. It's an insult to even call them special effects. Hell, I wouldn't even call them regular effects. "Accidents" would be a more fitting word.

It's even better than it looks because those "tongues" kind of move around.

Decker then injects Konga with his serum, which incredibly makes Konga immediately grow in size. Decker is thrilled with the results, and Margaret incredulous.

The next day, Dr. Decker lectures his class on where he has been and what he has seen. After class, he meets with and stands uncomfortably close to Sandra, one of his students. Sandra is a generic hot blonde (and "actress" in the loosest sense of the word).

"Acting...is...easy!"

Decker is obviously creeping on her. He notes that she is different from the other students, that there's a sense of "maturity" about her. She is oblivious, and loves working with him because he's so intelligent. Even some of the dialogue is unintentionally disturbing:

"I can't get over how you've grown!"
"Well, you were gone a year."
"That's true. And I of all people should understand growth."

I understand why Decker said that, but in this context...um, okay.

Later, Decker meets with the dean of the college. The dean is upset about the interview and wild claims Decker made earlier. Decker assures the dean that he won't embarrass the school, but the dean is unconvinced. Decker insists that he knows the truth, and that no one will get in his way. The dean explodes, shouting that as long as he's dean, Decker will do as he says. Cue foreshadowing brass music.

Decker is back at his lab, and gives Konga another serum injection. Konga then grows into the absolute dumbest and fake looking ape I have ever seen in any movie ever.

Yes. This. Holy crap.

Here's a close-up for you:

What.

I should point out that Decker's serum also has the fantastic ability to somehow turn a chimpanzee into a gorilla. Decker takes a small light and sort of hypnotizes Konga into obeying his commands. Meanwhile, the dean is working late. Eschewing any form of subtlety, Konga plants himself directly outside the dean's window before smashing through it and snapping the dean's neck.

The police are baffled, but state they did find some black hairs on the dean's neck. It's only a matter of time before they piece the puzzle together. Back at the lab, Margaret confronts Decker about the dean's death, at which Decker doesn't seem to care. He states that human life is inconsequential to the outcomes of his experiments, and asks what Margaret wants in order for her to keep quiet.

She concedes that she's tired of being just his assistant, and wants to get married. Yeah, good idea Margaret. Plant yourself closer to the psychotic scientist with a murderous gorilla. Decker agrees, but says it'll have to wait until the end of the school term so they have time for a honeymoon. The entire scene is ruined by the fact that all the "plants" are still in the background (and they're moving slightly since they're "alive"), completely distracting the viewer.

The police are interviewing all staff at the college, including Decker. He feigns concern over the dean's death and puts the police at ease, even managing to calmly light a cigarette while being interviewed.

Slick.

Decker later has a party, where a bunch of fellow scientists attend, including a Professor Tagore. The professor is researching a similar subject to Decker, which unnerves the doctor. Decker suggests they work together, stating science must come before the individual. Tagore politely turns him down, pronouncing that he has made more advances than Decker could imagine, and feels positive that he will soon have success.

"I am certain that I shall be the first to proclaim a new method of mutation, which will accelerate growth in such a manner, that must revolutionize the world."

"And I am certain that my bipedal gorilla will snap your neck."

He's practically digging his own grave. He does agree, though, to have a consulting meeting with Decker later that night. Cue foreshadowing brass music.

At the meeting in Tagore's lab, Decker becomes confrontational. He even threatens Tagore, claiming, "I have earned the glory that will be mine." He then dramatically declares:

"Professor Tagore...YOU ARE TOO LATE!"

This is actually my favorite scene in the movie.

How he let Decker in but failed to notice the bipedal gorilla, we'll never know. After strangling Tagore, Konga starts trashing the lab. Decker states that the night's work is done, grabs Tagore's notes, and they both leave.

I will remind you again that this is what Konga looks like.

The next day, Decker takes his class for a field trip out to a park area to collect ferns and other plants. Since they don't all have transportation, they load into the back of Decker's large truck (oddly, no one complains that there are gorilla feces everywhere). Sandra, however, is asked to ride up front with Decker. Bob, who is crushing on Sandra, shows suspicion at Decker always making excuses to spend time with Sandra.

Bob's the guy in the blue sweater who isn't three times Sandra's age.

In the truck, Decker starts making his move on Sandra, saying he doesn't always think of her as just a student. That the real reason he's excited for this field trip is to get to spend time with her. Naturally, she is as dumb as a brick wall and does not realize what is going on.

After the group heads out to find plants, Bob confronts Sandra about how Decker is being creepy as hell. Sandra dismisses him, saying that Dr. Decker said this field trip is part of the classwork (despite him directly telling her literally minutes before that it's an excuse to get to spend more time with her). Sandra eventually allows Bob a date that night, and instructs him to pick her up at 8:00. Unbeknownst to both of them, someone is eavesdropping on their conversation. Cue foreshadowing brass music.

It starts to rain heavily, so all the kids run to the nearby ranger's hut. Since it's the late 1950's, a boy pulls a radio out of his jacket and they throw an impromptu dance party.

It's weird.

Decker and Sandra burst in from the rain, and Decker instructs the kids to run down to the truck so they can head back. Bob hangs back, and confronts Decker about Sandra. It escalates quickly.

Oh.

Bob seems to realize what he's doing and lets Decker go. Decker advises that they both just forget about it. Bob agrees, and they go their separate ways. Everybody in this film is incredibly proper, even after a fight like this. Decker's response to being almost murdered by a student five seconds ago:

"I didn't realize you felt so strongly about Sandra. No matter what your feelings are, you should try to control your temper."

What class.

Later on, Bob is preparing for his date with Sandra. He goes outside to start up his scooter. But darn it all! It's just not starting up! The bushes behind Bob are rustling, almost as if someone or something is there...

I will remind you again that this is what Konga looks like.

Bob is dead, and Konga runs away before anyone sees him. I will point out that whenever something in the movie looks bad, it's almost like the crew goes out of their way to accentuate how bad it looks. They throw in these shots that draw your undivided attention to the crap. They want to make sure you really see the crap. An example is Konga running away from Bob's body:

You really have to see it in motion to fully appreciate it. Konga is running on some grass with literally nothing else around him or in the background. And that shot goes on for a long time. He even makes time to stop smack dead center of the frame and directly face the camera before starting to move again. It's unbearably painful.

The police are still baffled by the mystery, though they know the deaths are connected. Margaret is becoming more and more stressed out by Konga/Decker murdering people for seemingly no reason (she doesn't know about Sandra). Then we get another example of the film's extreme proper atmosphere:

"What are you having with your poached egg? Murder!?" 

"Margaret, if there's one thing I can't abide, it's hysterics. Especially in the morning."

I could not stop laughing at those two lines. Margaret manages to convince Decker that he can't keep the police off his tail forever. Decker concludes that he must destroy Konga. He still has the formula, records, and notes. His plan is to leave for Africa, build a lab there, and continue the experiments. He also plans to deflect suspicion on the recent murders by attending Bob's funeral, and inviting Sandra to dinner in order to console her.

Naturally, Margaret is suspicious at dinner, especially since Decker keeps ignoring her and fawning over Sandra. He leads Sandra to the greenhouse and leaves Margaret to clean up after dinner. In the greenhouse, he shows off all his plants to Sandra, then asks her to be his new assistant...and more. Margaret is listening from the shadows, devastated that Decker would casually discard her.

And yes, these "plants" are still here.

Decker goes in to suck face, which Sandra declines. Margaret, still concealed, is overwhelmed.


STOP: AT THIS POINT, THE MOVIE FALLS APART. UP UNTIL NOW IT WAS TOLERABLE, EVEN ENJOYABLE (SAVE FOR THE "SPECIAL EFFECTS"). I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY ANYONE WOULD TAKE WHAT HAS HAPPENED SO FAR AND VIOLATE IT FOR THE FINAL FIFTEEN MINUTES. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.


Margaret runs to the lab and pulls out the small light used to hypnotize Konga. She orders him to listen to only her.

I will remind you that this is what Konga looks like.

Upstairs, Decker is still insisting that "no" doesn't mean "no."

And having a hell of a time doing it.

Margaret gets a bunch of the serum and injects Konga again. She states "it will be easier for you to obey me," which makes a ton of sense, right? She tells him that he has his orders, and to obey them. Yet, it never shows her giving Konga any orders whatsoever, and she doesn't do it during the shots of Decker and Sandra. Again, the movie is already falling apart. Better not to ask questions.

Konga gets the goofiest look on his face ever, and begins to grow.

I challenge you not to laugh.

From this point on, Konga's size changes and reverts dramatically, often between consecutive shots. The last fifteen minutes of this film is some of the worst editing I've ever seen in a movie. Anyway, Konga is for some reason wildly out of control and angry, despite not having a reason to be. He trashes the lab and reaches for Margaret. He grabs her, and the next shot is a real treat.

It's not even a doll that has the proportions or even remotely looks like a real person. It's just a freaking doll. Holy crap. The close-up shots of him holding her are just as bad.

Then he throws her to the ground, even though they had a wonderful relationship the entire rest of the movie.

I'm sorry, but so much of the last fifteen minutes has to be seen to be believed.

Konga then continues to grow and smashes his way through the ceiling, followed by the roof of the house in a very explosive fashion. He then stumbles his way to the greenhouse, where Dr. Rape is still at it.

I will remind you that this is what Konga looks like.

Then we see some obvious King Kong reference shots, where Konga is peering through the windows at the people inside. He then smashes through the roof, startling both Sandra and Decker. I guess they couldn't hear Konga literally destroying the house less than fifty feet away. Sandra blunders too close to one of the "plants" that resembles a Venus flytrap, and her arm is caught. Konga then King Kong reaches into the building and grabs Decker.

"And the academy award for best special effects goes to..."

Meanwhile, the fire department is racing to the house because of the lab fire. They are shocked when they see Konga, who decides not to bother them and walks the other way towards downtown. The people notice him (kind of apathetically) and start to run. This is the start of the whole "Konga walks through the town" scene. It's made up of a bunch of recycled footage of Konga's face, Decker's face close-up, people running indifferently, and random shots of buildings with Konga superimposed near them. It goes on for way too long. Almost a full five minutes. And since it looks beyond terrible, it's incredibly boring. They also recycle the same three "Konga!" yells of Decker over and over again.

Eventually the police get called, and start mobilizing troops in the area. This leads to more recycled shots of people in uniform running alongside the civilian running shots. At one point, Konga stops moving, which isn't really momentous, because he's been constantly starting/stopping for the past five minutes. But since the plot needs to move forward, this time it's significant. The people also all stop running and note that Konga has stopped. As opposed to, you know, still running away from the giant gorilla even though it stopped. For some reason, they also do the superimpose thing for regular people and backgrounds. But only sometimes. I don't know.

Also, for some reason, the crazy mob managed to be a crazy mob while staying on the sidewalk. Just because you're running in a riotous mob, that doesn't give you the right to break the traffic laws. Remember that.

"We're not just a mob, we're a British mob."

It also gives all the police and military cars room to squeal into the scene. We then sit and wait for a full three minutes of the military men setting up cannons, guns, jeeps, you name it. All the while cutting to shots of Konga's face, with his eyes rolling back and forth. I guess he doesn't feel like reacting to anything at all. My absolute favorite shot of this part is when three guys are setting up some sort of artillery gun, and a fourth guy instructs them which way to point it. Like they don't know that it should be pointing towards the colossal fucking ape.

"That's the thing we're aiming for, men."
"Ooooohhhhhh."

It's funny too, because all the people on the set are sort of nonchalant about the whole thing. They'll shuffle into position, not really seeming to care. It's great. So then, finally, all 900 people that have had an hour to position themselves start to fire on Konga. But from Konga's shots, it appears that maybe two or three guns are shooting at him. Oh, and none of the bullets ever hit him, they just shoot off into the distance.

Here's what's apparently shooting at Konga.

But this is what's below.

And these.

And this.

And these.

And this.

Oh, and this thing too.

Ow, you guys.

After too many shots of gunfire and close-ups of Konga's face, he decides to chuck Decker to the ground. He literally and figuratively throws away the most engaging part of this movie, discarding it for no reason whatsoever.

Pictured here in this extremely expensive shot.

Finally, Konga falls, and inexplicably shrinks down to his original chimpanzee-size form upon death. Well, almost original form I should say.

Sigh.

The people gather round to look at the two bodies. There is absolutely no dialogue, despite shots of the important police officers from before and higher-up military people. Come to think of it, there's no real dialogue past when Margaret hypnotizes Konga in the lab. But who would think that the final fifteen minutes of a film without talking of any kind would be a bad idea? Then the camera slowly tilts up to the clock shown before (which is now dramatically chiming), and...

That's it. That's the whole damn thing. What?

Like I said, the last fifteen minutes discard everything that came before, and doesn't even seem to give two shits about it. The complete lack of dialogue is a strong supporting point, as well as the senseless killing of the two actual good parts of this film. There is also noticeably no music during almost all of this part, again leading to the conclusion that someone haphazardly ordered it thrown in last minute.

Also, almost nothing is wrapped up or made clear. Many questions are never answered:

1. What happened to Sandra in the greenhouse?
2. Did the police ever connect the murders with Konga and Decker?
3. Would they even be able to, since Konga is now 200 feet tall?
4. What will happen to Decker's research? Because the fire clearly did not burn down all of the lab.
5. Why did Margaret feel the need to inject Konga with more serum, when it's clear he's more than capable of murder without being detected?
6. Why did they use a toy monkey for Konga's death? The actual chimpanzee from earlier in the movie did an awesome stunt where it actually carried and delivered a tea tray down the stairs. Could they not also train it to lie down and not move?
7. Why do all the people in the crowd in London sound like they're from America, with no trace of a British accent?
8. Why didn't Konga obey either Margaret or Decker? Did his size somehow impede his obedience, but only this time?
9. How did Decker's serum turn a chimpanzee into a gorilla?
10. Why (and how) did the gorilla only walk on two legs the entire movie?

I feel that someone higher up in production wanted a King Kong-esque movie, and didn't pay attention to what was happening until the finished script was handed in. Clearly the way the film progresses does not lead itself to a giant ape attacking a metropolitan area. But that person said, "Screw that! Scrap this last part! Just make him really big and have him start killing! Then have lots of guns take him down! Yeah! It'll be awesome! That's what the people want to see! Make the poster reflect that too!" They even try to hook the viewer with the King Kong connection in the freaking poster!

Pictured: What doesn't happen in the movie.

Obviously it makes no sense, and ruins the whole thing. And as stated before, killing off Margaret and Decker without a second thought is both literal and figurative. It's almost like anything that would have resembled or reminded the audience of an actual plot had to be thrown out, so no one would realize how dumb it was.

It didn't work.

It doesn't help that the editing is the worst thing ever, and pacing is completely nonexistent. The supposed "climax" of the film is the most bland, repetitive part of the whole film. And there isn't even any kind of resolution. I like to think that everybody quit once the higher-ups starting making ridiculous demands, and figured they could do it better themselves.

Apparently, there was some pride inside the studio about how expensive and lengthy the last fifteen minutes took. Really? I have a better idea. Don't make the last fifteen minutes as planned, and use all that money to get some actual good special effects. Here's a better (and far cheaper/more logical) ending:

After being spurned by Sandra, Dr. Decker tosses her into one of his carnivorous plants, stating she's seen too much, and if she won't work with him, he has no choice. He then follows Margaret into the house. Margaret is destroying the lab, including all the notes and records in a fit of hysteria. She screams at Decker, asking how he could do such a thing to her, after all she's done for him? Decker lies to her, saying she's the only one for him, and doesn't she still want to marry? But Margaret isn't having any of it, and starts searching for the gun shown earlier when Decker killed the cat. Decker then quickly commands Konga to attack. Konga rips the bars off of his cage and moves imposingly towards Margaret. She tries to reason with Konga, reminding him of all the good times they've had together and their friendship. Konga is immune to her cries of reasoning and strangles her. He then turns to Decker for further orders. Decker had the gun all along, and abruptly shoots Konga twice in the chest. Konga falls, his eyes never leaving Decker. Decker, visibly unmoved by the recent events, gathers the important notes and a case filled with vials of the serum. He then tosses a chemical from a beaker onto the fire Margaret started, igniting a violent and rapidly spreading blaze. He walks to the door, takes one last look at the soon-to-be completely destroyed lab, and leaves. Fade to black. Fade in to a few days later. Decker is walking onto a small, private plane from the runway. He is still characteristically calm. He finds his seat, opens the paper, and the passing stewardess asks if he needs anything. He politely requests something to eat, and gives her a private but leering glance as she's moving away. He turns back to his paper, the headline reading: LONDON MURDERS STILL A MYSTERY. The plane takes off as Decker smiles and shuts his eyes for a quick nap. He awakens to the sound of the pilot over the PA system announcing that they'll be arriving in Uganda (part of East Africa) in approximately twenty minutes. Decker places his hand on his briefcase, looks out the window, and smiles, his eyes twinkling. Fade to black and THE END (there, see? I put "THE END" words there, so it must be the end).

Believe it or not, there are actually a few good things in this movie. Michael Gough and Margo Johns are fantastic. In the scenes where it's just them talking (without any "plants" around), you can almost imagine you're watching a good movie. I have to hand it to them. They do such a great job, even though they had to know what a piece of crap this movie was. They gave it their all, in spite of Konga or Sandra standing next to them much of the time. I cannot give them enough praise.

Thank you.

And thank you.

The score is also incredibly good. Gerard Schurmann nails it. It is a score I would listen to as a standalone item any day. The instrumentation/orchestration, as well as the intensity to match the scene, is spot on. It kept me engaged during all the crap scenes (save, of course, the last part). Both Gough and Schurmann worked on Horrors of the Black Museum, and I do plan on checking it out solely because of them.

The writing (up until the end) was actually pretty damn good. The special effects almost ruined it, but Gough and Johns saved it. Seriously, they should get some kind of award, and I'm kind of sad Johns isn't in more things. If this movie were a book (I mean an original book, not a novelization of the movie), I would read it, because it doesn't cost extra to describe exotic plants on paper. Charlton Comics also published a comic book based on Konga from 1960 to 1965, notable because Steve Ditko worked on it before moving to Marvel.

It's been reprinted by IDW if you want to check it out.

It's hard to say whether or not one should watch this movie. If you want to see how one can act splendidly in the pallid face of mediocrity, then yes. If you've never seen Michael Gough in anything other than a Batman movie, then maybe. Otherwise, you can skip it.

I will remind you again that this is what Konga looks like.