The Legend of Hell House - 1973

Let me tell you a story about character motivation.

The Legend of Hell House was a 1973 British horror movie written by Richard Matheson, and was based on his novel Hell House. That sentence alone makes it sound awesome. Check out this poster:

The film opens with this rather humorous quote:

Our story begins with Dr. Lionel Barrett (played by Clive Revill) being told by the ancient Mr. Deutsch that he will receive £100,000 for investigating a house and finding out if there is survival after death.

"Your assignment: To establish the fact." 

"Regarding what?" 

"Survival after death." 

"You want me..." 

"To let me know if it's factual!" 

"How could I convince you, either way?" 

"Give me the facts!"

Hopefully you'll do better than the last group. They really fact things up.

Deutsch reveals that the family that owns the property needed money and sold the place to him, therefore providing the plot device to get the main characters to the house unopposed. So Dr. Barrett and his wife (whom he brings along for whatever reason) go to the Belasco Mansion, which has been infamously nicknamed "Hell House." They are to meet up with Florence Tanner (Pamela Franklin) and Ben Fischer (Roddy McDowall). Both are mediums, and are critical in establishing the connection between our world and the next. The party has a week to provide results.

Since Deutsch is relying solely on Barrett's testimony, he has no way of checking whether or not the results Barrett brings back are actually true. Dr. Barrett even states that he's a freaking physicist, not a psychic, and he doesn't believe in any of that crap. There is no reason why the party couldn't spend a week in a Bed & Breakfast, swing by after a week, pick up their money, and go their separate ways. But they're "honest people," or whatever, so they decide to go through with it.

Friday, December 17 4:08 PM

Barrett is being briefed on the details by Deutsch's assistant, who asks if he will need anything for his journey. Barrett cryptically mentions a "certain machine that is only partially constructed at the moment," and that he will need it by Wednesday. Cue mysterious music.

Barrett and his wife (Gayle Hunnicutt) are driving up to the house, and she gives the flimsy explanation of why she's coming as, "I don't like to be left alone." Yeah, being under the threat of being raped/murdered by ghosts totally beats sitting at home for a few days playing Scrabble. Don't you have neighbors? This scene is made even better when Barrett waits until they're almost to the house to inform her that, "The last two expeditions were disasters. Eight people died. Only Fischer made it out alive, and when he crawled out, he was a mental wreck." I only wish the camera had panned back over to his wife's face at that little reveal.

Sorry, I wasn't listening. Did you say something?

Monday, December 20 9:13 AM

They pick up Ben. The scene seems like it's going somewhere, or will at least have some dialogue, but-

Monday, December 20 9:41 AM

They pick up Florence. The scene seems like it's going somewhere, or will at least have some dialogue, but-

Monday, December 20 11:47AM

Oh.

So we have our main cast at the house:

Dr. Barrett

Ann

Florence

Ben

As soon as they walk in, their character types are pretty much established immediately. Florence states that, "The house knows we're here," marking her as the eccentric weirdo. Dr. Barrett gives her a dirty look, marking him as the skeptic jerk. Ben has a slightly inquisitive look on his face, staring out into the house, but saying nothing, marking him as the resigned, secretive type. And Ann...well, Ann just stands there, out of frame and silent, marking her as the character that doesn't serve any purpose and shouldn't even be there. The only reason she's in the film is so Dr. Barrett can explain everything to her piece by piece (because she is an idiot), so that we as the audience also get everything (in case any of us are also idiots).

Florence hears a voice, and discovers a record player. It is the voice of Emeric Belasco, the late owner of the house, greeting them and letting them know he will be with them "in spirit." When Ann asks how the player started itself, Ben informs her (us) that Belasco claimed he could manipulate people towards certain objects, and then move among them unnoticed.

But don't worry, I brought my super-powerful ghost glasses.

Monday, December 20 6:42 PM

Over dinner, the theories start coming out. Florence states she believes the disturbances are caused by multiple personalities, unable to pass on to the next world. Dr. Barrett dismisses her. Ann, being herself, starts asks questions to get a background on the house, plot, and other characters (for our benefit, naturally). Check out this gem:

"When was the house built?" 

"I dunno."

I love the fact this line is in the movie. It makes Ann seem like even more of moron, because she's bothering the genuine characters with trivial nonsense. When Ben is asked to share what information he has about Belasco, he looks openly aggravated to have to do so. He then proceeds to turn into an extremely sarcastic Belasco encyclopedia:

"His first name was Emeric. He was born on March 23 in 1879. He was the illegitimate son of an American munitions maker. His was a frightening visage. The face of a demon that had taken on some human aspect. That was a quote from his second wife. She committed suicide in this room in 1927. He was 6'5", they called him the roaring giant. Drug addiction, alcoholism, sadism, bestiality, mutilation, murder, vampirsm, necrophilia, cannibalism, not to mention a gamut of sexual goodies. Shall I go on?"

It is awesome to see how annoyed Ben is to talk about this, which is why he gives an overabundance of information with such a scathing tone. The contempt in his voice is hilarious. Ann, still oblivious, continues to dig herself deeper:

"How did it end?" 

"If it had ended, we would not be here."

And I swear, if you ask one more stupid question, I will kill you myself.

Ben also reveals that in 1929, after Belasco's last party, twenty-seven people were found dead. Belasco was not among them. Hmmmmmmmm.

Monday, December 20 8:46 PM

Florence decides to hold a sitting/seance. After going through her initial speech, she states that the house is evil (only Ann seems surprised at this revelation). She senses a "young man who must speak." She then speaks in the voice of the young man in a display of impressive lip-syncing. He states if they don't get out, he'll kill them all. He doesn't want to, but he must. Objects then start shaking and rattling around.

This rouses Dr. Barrett's curiosity, since Florence is a mental medium. She can't cause objects to physically move around. Ben, however, is a physical medium, which causes Barrett to wonder what actually just happened and who was responsible.

Good thing I remember to pack my "deep thinking" robe.

Monday, December 20 10:32 PM

In her room, Florence is visited by some wind, which she automatically assumes is the spirit from before. She senses anguish, and determines that such pain could not be from Belasco. She throws out the name "Daniel", and deduces that it is the spirit of Emeric's son, whose spirit is imprisoned in the house by his father.

Tuesday, December 21 7:33 AM

Florence shares her discovery with Dr. Barrett, who naturally looks at her like he's never heard such nonsense. She states that if she can convince Daniel's frightened, hostile spirit to move on, a huge portion of the haunting will be eliminated.

I'm not even going to try and hide how much crap I think is spewing out of your mouth.

Tuesday, December 21 2:43 PM

Dr. Barrett holds another sitting, but this time under "scientific conditions," whatever that means. I'm pretty sure ghosts don't care either way. Barrett has a bunch of dynamometers, pressurometers, and temperturometers set up to measure ghost-stuff, while Florence is being monitored in a chair behind a net (because everybody knows ghosts can't go through nets). There are also Christmas bells on the net, so there would be no doubt whatsoever if that ghost touched that freaking net.

Dr. Barrett throws out a bunch of science jargon while the camera comically zooms in every time he makes a statement.

Things

are

HAPPENING

!!!

Eventually, ectoplasm starts forming out of Florence's fingertips through a not-too-crappy looking camera effect. It goes through the net (even with all of those safeguards!) and Dr. Barrett shows how much authority he thinks he has by instructing the ghost to:

"Leave a sample in the jar, please."

The ghost doesn't immediately comply, so he commands it again, a little more forcefully. The ghost realizes it wasn't a request and moves towards the jar on the table. Then suddenly there is a loud SNAP and Florence starts screaming in the chair. Ann also starts screaming for whatever reason. Later, Dr. Barrett gives Ann (us) a little lesson on the properties of ectoplasm, while Florence is visited again by the spirit she believes is Daniel in her room.

Tuesday, December 21 6:21 PM

At dinner, Florence states she was visited by Daniel, and again Barrett dismisses her. Florence then shows some emotion for once and gets angry at Barrett for not believing or trusting her.

"I'm not a medium for the fun of it, you know! It's often painful! Often unrewarding!

She then launches into her beliefs that mediumship is God's manifestation in man, and quotes scripture and talks about other biblical things relating to her profession. Dr. Barrett is quite taken aback and tries to console her when he is suddenly attacked by DINNERWARE! NO!

YES!

The entire table starts throwing itself about, and Barrett's chair forces him to fall back while a chandelier almost falls right on him.

This is England's equivalent to being Jackie Chan.

The fireplace then literally explodes (which actually pretty cool).

Then a giant mirror falls on him.

Florence has finally had enough and screams, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Everything then comes to an abrupt stop. Florence immediately turns to Ben and tells him that he has to leave right away. She states because he is the physical medium, he is being used and he is not in control. When she turns to Barrett for support, he naturally tells her she's crazy and chastises her for trying to get rid of them both. Ben tells Florence that she's the one being used.

Later, Ann asks Barrett why they don't leave. Barrett states he doesn't want to leave when he's so close. He's not clear on what exactly he's so close to. Perhaps it's finally getting away from Ann through the sweet release of death. Ann isn't convinced.

"And what if you're hurt again?" 

"I won't be." 

"How do you know?" 

"I'll see to it!"

The day you talk to me like I'm stupid...

Dr. Barrett then states that he was careless, and shouldn't have taken Florence's calm, kind demeanor at face value, because, "You can't do that! Not with a medium. You never know what's underneath." His distrust of both Florence and Ben has turned into full-blown hatred. Ann doesn't seem to mind that she's married to a medium-bigot.

Florence then comes in and declares that it wasn't her that caused all that damage, but rather Daniel Belasco (again). Obviously, Dr. Barrett is disbelieving and tells her that he doesn't just think it was her, he knows it was her, because there is no such person as Daniel Belasco (which might have been a helpful fact to know way earlier).

Tuesday, December 21 10:18 PM

Ann is lonely and wants some lovin', because who doesn't get turned on by everything that's happened so far, am I right? But Barrett is tired and sleeping. She then sees a statue of a couple's silhouette in the firelight start to erotically fornicate, making noises and everything. As soon as she tries to wake Barrett, the statue stops. Since she's yearning for physical relations so badly she fantasizes about household objects making love, she decides to go for the next best thing on her list.

Good thing I packed smart for this trip.

She then finds a crap-ton of erotic literature.

Good thing I packed smart for this trip.

She picks up Autoerotic Phenomena and starts flipping through. Downstairs, Florence tells Ben she's going to look for the body of Daniel, and wanders off to the cellar. After Florence leaves, Ann makes her way downstairs and tries to seduce Ben.

Ooh, let me make you as hard as she is...Wait, that's not what I meant!

She tries to force herself on him with promises of getting drunk and biting each other (oh yeah), so he responds by smacking her across the face.

You maniac! I said biting!

Ann then comes to her senses (obviously realizing that she had misinterpreted the book's message) and rushes back upstairs. Meanwhile, Florence is down in the cellar searching for Daniel's body. She finds something (that is out of our view) and starts screaming at the top of her lungs. Barrett and Ann jump out of bed and rush down to the cellar. Apparently the loud, erotic moaning of the statue did not wake Barrett (even though it was less than six feet away), but Florence's screams from below two floors (one of solid rock) wakes him immediately. They reach the cellar, where Florence informs them all that she's discovered Daniel's body, which attacked her, and shows physical wounds as proof.

Oh, hey.

Ben and Florence bury his body outside to allow his spirit to pass on, solving that part of the mystery! Except they don't! Later that evening, Daniel still contacts a sleeping Florence, but she tells him he must go on. She wakes up to find a cat in her room, and they become the best of friends and solve mysteries together and stuff.

First mystery: How much blood do you have in your body?

Actually, the cat immediately tries to rip her to shreds, getting in some good hits. She finally manages to get into the bathroom and lock it on the other side of the door.

Wednesday, December 22 9:14 AM

Deutsch Industries drops off Dr. Barrett's mysterious machine that he had hinted at wayyyy at the beginning of the film, and Ben informs the other two that Florence has been hurt again.

I call it, "The iPod."

They all check her out and she states the cat was possessed by Daniel Belasco. Dr. Barrett asks her if she thinks it would be better if she left. She seems appalled by this suggestion. "No, I'm not leaving now!" When it seems like the smartest thing for her to do would be to get the hell out of there, as her back looks like it was just hit with a bunch of meat cleavers. Ben also advises she leave. But Florence wants to stay and figure out why Daniel's spirit can't move on, even though they laid his body to rest. She has a new theory that there is one personality so strong that it is preventing all other personalities from leaving. She believes it's Emeric Belasco, and that he is responsible for all the attacks, forcing everyone else to do his bidding.

Wednesday, December 22 10:31 PM

Ann finds Ben at the bottom of the stairs again, and tries to seduce him again. Except this time she's not possessed, she's just drunk. He refuses, and when she tries to force herself on him again, Barrett appears at the top of the stairs, causing Ann to shout and pass out. After a heartfelt talk, both Dr. Barrett and Ann conclude that their marital troubles will pass once they leave the house, which is probably not true, but it's something that they tell themselves anyway.

I only brought you because I thought a ghost would have murdered you by now. How are you still alive?

Barrett later confronts Ben, telling him he knows that Ben has been blocking all his abilities, and that Mr. Deutsch is wasting a third of his money. This personal jab causes Ben to let down his guard and try to contact whatever spirits he can. This leads to less than gratifying results. It is refreshing, however, to see the very tranquil and collected demeanor of Ben fall apart instantly as soon as he opens up his mind. 

"Let me show you what Ann and Dr. Barrett are doing right now."

Thursday, December 23 10:31 AM

Ben tells Florence that he gives up, doesn't trust anyone, and anybody that thinks they can beat the house is a fool. He also has gained the ability to fire cynical one-liners back at will.

"It's nothing we can't handle!" 

"Wrong. There is nothing in this house that we can handle." 

"That's not true! We've made wonderful progress!" 

"Toward what? Our graves?

SNAP.

Florence then tries to convince Ben on the progress they made with Daniel, but he counters with the proof being a body means nothing. They don't know whose body it actually was, they just assumed it was Daniel. And isn't Daniel still haunting Florence anyway? He then goes on to describe how the 1953 party that tried to beat the house ended up. A woman jumped off the balcony and shattered her spine. Another man crawled out of the house and died. Another was paralyzed. The last member went insane, and still was to that day.

Ben states he will stay "shut off" for the remainder of the week, collect his money, then get as far away from the house as possible. Florence decides she will keep trying, and is immediately punished for it. She returns to her room and finds the shower on, with blood running out the bottom onto the floor. She opens the door to find...

AHHHHHHHHHHwait that's the cat that attacked me, I'm cool.

Meanwhile, Dr. Barrett is preparing to turn his machine on, and Ann resumes her former place of getting other characters to spit out obvious information for us. Dr. Barrett claims that the power in the house can be measured, quantified, and controlled scientifically. By the same time tomorrow, the house will be de-energized since he will have effectively "reversed" the power of the house. For once, Ben is the skeptic, and tells Barrett, "YOU DO NOT FIGHT THIS HOUSE!" He also tells him to lay low until Sunday, tell Deutsch whatever he wants to hear, and to bank the money (which is what I suggested right from the start).

Florence is snooping around the chapel, which is attached to the main house, but the roaring and shrieking in her head become too much when she gets too close, and prevents her from entering. The voices force her to run all the way back to her room, where Daniel speaks to her, begging her to love him. I will point out that since the voice is an echo of a harsh, detached whisper, it doesn't sound like he's saying, "Love me." It sounds like something much more vulgar. She finally gives in, prays that Daniel's spirit can go on once the festivities are over, and hops into bed.

I said being a medium is "often" unrewarding, not 100%.

Surprisingly, the session ends poorly, and Florence again sees something we cannot. She screams like mad until everybody comes running. They open the door to find Florence on the bed, scratches all up and down her back. They fear the worst, slowly turn her over to find...

Oh, I guess we misinterpreted that screaming.

Friday, December 24 7:19 AM

Later, Florence wakes up and starts talking to Ben, who sat by her side all night after the incident. She makes several lewd comments before it becomes apparent that the ghost is partially possessing her. Turns out a side effect of having the ghost inside her is the ghost also being inside her. She reveals that the ghost lied to her. Guess he's a bad dude. Who would have thought?

Friday, December 24 7:48 AM

Ben announces that he's taking Florence away. Dr. Barrett says that's cool, because the house will be clear soon anyway. He then proceeds to explain pretty much what he did before in case we missed it. The house is a giant battery, and he's going to drain it. Where he deviates from the others is he thinks there are no actual entities (no Emeric, no Daniel, no others) prowling the house. It's just rampant, directionless power. He'll fill the house with a massive countercharge, which will reverse and dissipate the atmosphere of the house. End of story.

Florence (who for some reason is no longer possessed) is convinced that if the machine works, it will send the spirits "from one hell to another." I don't see why she cares about the well-being of the spirits, as a ghost just raped and possessed her last night, but whatever. She proceeds to pick up a fireplace poker and starts beating down the machine. Ben tries to stop her, so she starts beating down him instead. Barrett's not taking any crap, so he throws a punch right into her face and knocks her out. Ann, of course, doesn't even appear until all is said and done because character action requires actual characters.

Friday, December 24 8:23 AM

Thankfully, Florence didn't attack anything vital (which is hard to believe, since there's less than eight things showing that aren't flat metal). Barrett is able to fix whatever damage she caused. But while he's doing so, Florence wakes up in the chair they put her in, and simply walks away. They didn't bother to tie her down or anything, so she just gets up and leaves the room. She heads to the chapel, not being stopped by voices this time.

If she had only played Silent Hill, she'd know what a church in a place like this means.

Suddenly, the crucifix breaks loose and falls on her. Whoops. Cut back to the other three party members. Ben wakes up and immediately notices Florence is gone. The other two apparently had not.

I was almost certain I killed her with that punch. Damn.

So Florence is dead. The other three rush into the chapel to find her crushed under the crucifix, but she left a cryptic message in blood.

So even though when they found Daniel's decaying, gross body, they took the time out to bury it and do all the proper stuff, they decide to leave Florence's body crushed while they get back to the machine, because priorities.

Make sure the jerk meter is turned high enough!

The three of them then leave the house to let the machine do its work. It is funny that they leave Florence's body in the house, because if the machine does works, chances are she'll be some kind of powerful spirit since she was a medium in life. That means she'll get sucked inside the machine or whatever, along with the evil spirits. But we already know how much Barrett hates mediums (her especially), so it's really just him getting his last laugh.

This is for that glass that hit me in the face, bitch.

The party returns later, and Ben is perplexed, because he can't feel anything. The machine worked! 

Ben checks out the whole house, and is overjoyed that there's nothing! Hooray!

Friday, December 24 12:25 PM

Barrett is walking around, checking readings, when suddenly, one of the needles flickers across a dial. What?! How is that possible? Science always beats ghosts in the rock, paper, scissors of life! Barrett starts to lose it, shouting, "I do not accept this! I do not accept this!" Then all his machines start to explode in a spray of blood.

But my machines run on tears of the innocent! Tears, I say!

Friday, December 24 1:03 PM

Ann returns to find the equipment in ruins, and everything a mess. She keeps calling out Barrett's name, wandering the house, until she eventually ends up in the chapel, where she finds him, but...

Well, at least we got that chandelier stunt right earlier.

Ann runs screaming out of the chapel, and does one of my favorite things in the film. As soon as she exits the room, she runs directly into a table. The table isn't low, it isn't right next to the door, it isn't moving, and it isn't hidden. Why she runs blindly into a freaking table is beyond me, but it's hilarious.

No caption necessary.

Friday, December 21 2:21 PM

Ben comforts Ann, but informs her that he's not leaving. He's going right to the chapel. She tells him, "There is no reason to go back there. None."

I don't know if you know this, but we were having marital troubles anyway.

Ben states that if he leaves Hell House now, his whole life will be a failure (never mind 1953 when he left. That was different, I'm sure). Ann tells him he'll die. He pulls out that one-liner power again and replies, "Then I will." SNAP.

Ben knows the chapel is the nexus for the whole house, but can't figure out why. Suddenly, the message Florence left makes sense. The "B" inside the circle means "Belasco." The "revelation" is that the only spirit at work was Emeric Belasco all along. Who would have thought? Who would have thought that the drug addicted, alcoholic, sadist, bestialist, mutilating, murderer, vampire, necrophiliac, cannibal, with a gamut of sexual goodies would be the culprit? What a total shock.

Even though they now know it's just one dude, what difference does that really make in terms of where they are? They still can't win. But then Ben figures out the key. And holy crap, what a stupid ending. He puts the pieces together that all the victims (from 1953 and the past week) had their legs somehow damaged. This is splitting hairs, because two of them were just plain smashed under big things, one crawled out of the house (which could have been for a number of reasons), and one just "went insane." It's a flimsy pretext at best.

Since Ben has "figured it out," he calls out a challenge to Belasco, provoking Belasco to destroy him. It's a dumb thing to do, and he almost gets crushed by a chandelier himself. Maybe you should look above you before challenging the ghost that likes to crush people, moron. He continues to goad Belasco, hinting at his big secret, making fun of him, insulting his parents.

Doing his best Jim Carrey impression.

Belasco responds by whipping up gale force winds and throwing Ben around like a rag doll. After enough hounding though, Belasco's spirit screams and stops. Ben does a thorough mental search to see if it's clear, and a glass window on the back wall shatters, revealing a hidden door. Behind the door we see Belasco!

Ahhhhh! He's even more horrible than I imagined!

But he isn't moving. Is it a puppet? A statue? Nope, it's really a dude. Perfectly preserved behind all those hidden doors. Upon closer inspection, it's actor Michael Gough, also known as Alfred from all the 90's Batman movies.

He had some vacation time built up.

Are you ready for the big secret? The whole thing that has driven this man's eternal spirit to plague the living and kill those who are otherwise innocent? Here it is!

Bam.

Yes. Belasco has prosthetic legs. He was short, and didn't like being short, so he cut both legs off and wore prosthetics that made him taller. That, and that alone, is what motivated the antagonist of this story to kill, maim, rape, deceive, and mutilate all others involved from beyond the grave. Sure, he was a bad person when he was alive, as pointed out earlier. But his anger at being short is what drove his spirit to remain on our plane of existence. That is ridiculous! For everything this movie has done and built up, the main motivation has been because a dude was too short? There's only one other character I can think of with that motivation.

Hey.

The hidden room is also lined with lead, meaning that Barrett's machine's radiation would not be able to penetrate the walls. Which in essence proves that science, in fact, was the answer. Science (lead walls) prevented the radiation from zapping his spirit. If the lead wasn't there, science (counter-electromagnetic radiation) would have destroyed him without a hitch. So I guess the real message is that science is greater than the supernatural. Always. The end. Also, you shared a driving motivation with an antagonist of a wacky anime series.

Again, hey.

"Your husband and Florence helped us to rid this house of Belasco. Let us hope that their spirits guide him to everlasting peace."

That's Ben's closing quote to wrap up this whole ordeal. They walk out of the house, the nightmare finally over.

Friday, December 24 4:59 PM

Except they left the bodies of Florence and Barrett inside, still crushed and mutilated. And Ben turned on the machine before they left, so instead of their spirits guiding Belasco's to the great beyond, all three will basically be Ghostbusted. They also left Belasco's body as well, which will start decaying into a puddle of jelly since it's not in its airtight room anymore. But they leave anyway. What an ending. But an unseen pair of eyes is watching...

Oh shit! Wait, what? Why is this the last shot? What does this even mean?